Let’s talk about autonomy… and how a recent conversation made me realise that it is a core value, woven through my entire life.
It all started with a conversation about freedom - something that felt essential to me… in fact, freedom feels a little bit lazy!! Pursuing it feels like taking permission to do nothing…
(Isn’t it funny how we all interpret language so differently, and how it can undermine us if we pause to notice?!)
but a recent reframe and deep dive into my values threw up freedom . For whatever reason,
However, flagging freedom as a core value in my life and the subsequent push back, reframe and deep dive into my values and vision, got me thinking about autonomy.
what I really crave is the power to be authentically me - unbound by external expectations
You see, what I really crave is the power to be authentically me. To show up in a way that feels good, authentic and unbound by external expectations. Maybe you can relate?
Interestingly, when I scan through my life, using autonomy as a keyword, I find many, many, many examples of the pursuit of autonomy and a deep need to express myself, be seen, and rise into my power.
From:
Obscure history papers to changing universities at the last minute in order to truly pursue my future goals
Paying lip-service to a corporate job, only to start my own business 13 months later
Feeling tied to a business I built for a different version of myself, to selling up and moving to Thailand.
These are just the highlights, but let me be clear - these decisions, choices, and actions did not come easily. There are times I should have acted sooner, other’s I was hasty. Some decisions bore fruit, others arguably held me back. But through the lens of autonomy, I have been pursuing, expressing and demanding autonomy for as long as I can remember.
I have been pursuing, expressing, and demanding autonomy for as long as I can remember
Equally as prominent are the instances when I was pushed back down… tall poppy syndrome and the associated lopping off of my head!
The comments and snaps judgments left me doubting my identity as a child
The self-doubt that came after mistakes or failures - questioning the courage of my convictions
The pressure to conform, under that guise that the norm is always the right thing to do…
My body of work to date has been giving people the tools to create their own autonomy
In many ways, my body of work to date has been giving people the tools to create their own autonomy.
In LifeSpark - my CrossFit gym, it was creating Total Life Fitness - the ability to say Yes! to life.
In Locus Retreats - my retreat business, it is creating an uncompromising experience.
In Candice Ford Coaching it is living a life that inspires you.
And what has enabled me to keep going in all of this?
The Courage of my Convictions:
When I have the courage of my convictions I have changed my life
When I have not, I have faltered and set myself on the path to underwhelm at best - misery a worst (cue the beard of stress-induced acne!)
It comes down to having the courage of your convictions, taking ownership, and seizing your own autonomy all areas of your life
So, we can talk about Step Into Your Power, we can talk about Bespoke 1:1 Coaching, and everything you need to be the best version of yourself. But what it comes down to is, having the courage of your convictions, taking ownership, and seizing your own autonomy in one, and slowly, all areas of your life.
We talk a lot about being seen, being heard, finding our place, equality, balance, joy… and I question:
Where does autonomy fit here? Not independence, but a deep sense of engagement and control over your own existence.
What does it mean to have autonomy in isolation and in whatever collective you choose to be a part of?
While I have clearly been demanding my Autonomy for a long time, it really came into focus for me when I brought essential oils into my life - taking control of how we clean our home, of how we treat niggles and sniffles, the confidence that I have within my own home. This autonomy taught me that I can be trusted to take care of myself. I can take ownership and responsibility for the things within my control. I can trust my gut when it comes to the health of my family.
This autonomy taught me that I can be trusted to take care of myself. I can take ownership and responsibility for the things within my control. I can trust my gut.
This autonomy finally gave me the courage to say out loud, ‘I don’t love my business and I want to make a change’, and allowed me to embody my decisions and move forward with conviction. I had the autonomy of thought and self to take action.
Autonomy for me is about freedom, trust, faith and conviction - with a healthy dose of courage to move forward.
Autonomy for me is about freedom, trust, faith and conviction - with a healthy dose of courage to move forward.
I can think of many times in my life I have not had the courage of my convictions or felt sufficiently autonomous to take the action I needed. I felt bound by societal norms and expectations. Living life amid the ever-narrowing guard rails of doing the ‘right’ thing.
I have learned the hard way… and the deeply rewarding way, that autonomy is golden.
It gives me the courage of my conviction that I need to speak my mind, own my truth and my opinions, and detach from the opinions and expectations of others.
Autonomy gives me the courage to speak my mind, own my truth, and detach from the opinions and expectations of others.
My growing sense of autonomy has taught me that I have a right to choose, to question, to trust myself, and to have the courage of my convictions, at a time when my autonomy, my courage, and my convictions are questioned on an almost daily basis.
At the end of the day, I know that my life is better when I embrace my freedom, my autonomy, and I hold myself accountable for myself. This takes boundaries, courage, and the willingness to share uncomfortable opinions.
But autonomy is also the ultimate expression of self-honour - and I will always be a better person to the people I value most when I honour myself first.
When I stand in my power, secure in my convictions
You will too… Autonomous - on your terms.
Ready to reclaim your autonomy?
Book a curiosity call with me today and let’s start the journey